Hope

Why are you cast down, my soul,
why groan within me?
Hope in God;  I will praise Him still,
my savior and my God.

from Psalm 43

Jesus, Help Me!

I have long had the practice of cutting pictures and prayers out of bulletins and programs and mailings from charitable institutions, and placing them in my prayer books and other books.  Mostly, I save them for inspiration, but they make nice bookmarks too!  :-)

Well, this morning, this prayer fell out of my Liturgy of the Hours prayers, and it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear today.  I have no idea from where it came, but here it is:

In every need, let me come to You with humble trust, saying, Jesus help me!

In all my doubts, perplexities and temptations, Jesus help me!

In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials, Jesus help me!

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles and sorrows, Jesus help me!

When others fail me, and Your grace alone can assist me, Jesus help me!

When I throw myself on Your tender love as a Brother and Savior, Jesus help me!

When my heart is cast down by failure to see any good come from my efforts, Jesus help me!

When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me, Jesus help me!

When I am ill, and my head and hands can not work and I am lonely, Jesus help me!

Always, always, in spite of of weakness, falls and shortcomings of every kind, Jesus help me, and never forsake me!

AMEN.

Still waiting . . . But getting closer

I had hoped to have some good news to share by now. But as per usual, there must be some great spiritual benefit I am receiving from this constant delay and waiting. I am still working on the obstacles to my vocation, and it appeared for awhile that something really, mega-miraculous was happening. I still have hope that it will work out, but I am once again delayed and looking for God in all of it. I know He is there, and so once again (and again and again and again), I surrender.  Blessed Mother, help me surrender.

I have discerned a call to a Dominican order….(more later on that). I am shocked by this, but I trust it like nothing I have ever known, because I had virtually nothing to do with it, and I did nothing to seek this. God moved in so many mysterious ways to bring it about, and had it happened 2 years ago when I first approached the Daughters of Mary, I would not have been spiritually mature enough or ready. Once again, He proves that His timing is perfect, and when I permit it, His will WILL be done. Fiat. Let it be done.

I have great peace about this order, and unlike my past, I find myself not even caring or worried about any part of what my future will bring as a nun. I am well aware of my human frailties, and I know it will be very difficult, and seemingly impossible for me at times, given my strong will and enormous ego, but I have faith that if this is where God is calling me, He will give me everything I need to follow Him and do His will. I can not WAIT to begin this new chapter in my life, and I fully expect to enter on April 29th, the feast day of Saint Catherine of Siena, however the enemy of our souls is doing his best to thwart God’s efforts. Please, PLEASE pray for me that my obstacles will be removed and none other be placed in my path. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life, and I look forward to the day when I can write about all of the amazing things God did to make straight this very crooked path of mine. He is a God of great mercy, and I will spend my eternity thanking Him for the great love He has shown me in this life.

Totus Tuus . . .
 

Saint Catherine of Siena, please pray for us.

The One Thing . . . By Matthew Kelly

Matthew Kelly is a good man with a great heart for God. I once wrote to him and asked for his help in making a dream come true for a friend of mine. I was surprised to receive a telephone call from him, and a great conversation ensued with numerous ideas for helping my friend. He was most kind and generous with his time and thoughts, showing great regard for two complete strangers. This personal quality of his has everything to do with what it means to be a Catholic Christian.

I was excited to have the opportunity to review one of his new books for the Catholic Company, and read it in just a few minutes. It is a small book, The One Thing – Passing Faith Onto Children, and at only 64 pages with lots of pictures, it was easy to read in under a half hour.

Matthew is known for making complex issues simple, and truly, that is what he did in this little book. Mostly he spent his time writing about his own experience of love in relation to his first born and only child, a son named Walter. Would that all parents in today’s world look at their child in the way that Matthew looks at his! Drawing from his recognition of the love he has found in his own heart for this child, he began to understand more deeply the love that God, our Father, has for each of us. As a soon-to-be contemplative nun, I have to tell you that this is exactly what I hope to spend the rest of my own days contemplating.

What it all boils down to in answering the question of which ‘one thing’ it takes to pass the faith on to children is this: Matthew believes, as do I, that it begins by showing them your own authentic love for God by the way you treat them and their mother and all of God’s children…..by the way you go out of your way to do things for them, to help them, and to serve others. This shows them Jesus. This shows them how God loves us and wants to be with us. When you do this, you are teaching them about Eucharist, because you are teaching them, by your example, of what it means to be Jesus to each other. And there is no better way to receive Jesus, than when we receive Him, sacramentally present in the Eucharist, another great thing this book reminds the reader.

I love putting these kinds of books in my office waiting room.  I have one of Matthew's other books in my waiting room as well.  They are small tidbits of important wisdom, put simply and accessible even to non-readers who do not have the patience to read a long novel.  Sometimes, a person only needs one well-reasoned thought to bring them back to love.  I hope this little book will do just that. 

Fiat!


(This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on The One Thing. They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.)

The Fellowship of the Unashamed by Anonymous

I am part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."

The die has been cast.

I have stepped over the line.

The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.

I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I must go until Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.

My colors will be clear.

Shhhh . . . .

Just a quick note . . .

The last three months have been undeniably indescribable, completely and totally Divinely inspired.  I am not ready to write about all that has transpired yet, but suffice it to say, our merciful Father is answering my vocation prayers in a powerfully loving, generous, mysterious, incredible way.  I can not even find the words to describe all that has happened yet, as I am simply overwhelmed by the mercy and love I have received, so I am choosing to simply BE and listen for now, watching as it all unfolds, taking it all in.  I will write more after some of the plans I am making are brought to fruition, probably in a month or two.  For now, it is a time of great preparation and thanksgiving.  Thanks be to God!

Fiat!
Totus Tuus

Saint Dominic, pray for us.

The Truth About Your Mother

Discernment

It has been an interesting couple of months. For many reasons, I have found myself beginning again, not wondering whether I have a call to the religious life, but to which order?

Catholic author and philosopher, Peter Kreeft, wrote a great article on discernment, and I found the following paragraph to be especially pertinent to where I feel my heart is being drawn today:

       Look for the fruits of the spirit, especially the first three: love, joy, and peace. If we are angry and anxious and worried, loveless and joyless and peaceless, we have no right to say we are sure of being securely in God's will. Discernment itself should not be a stiff, brittle, anxious thing, but—since it too is part of God's will for our lives—loving and joyful and peace-filled, more like a game than a war, more like writing love letters than taking final exams.

Wow. I have to admit that I have not had as much peace as I would have expected, given that all I want to do is give everything to Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And I have surely had my fill of anxiety in the journey. But now that I am embracing the fact that God may have different plans for me, I find my heart filled with peace in the process of discernment. I am relishing it and grateful for new insights. This comes as quite a surprise to me, unexpected, yet so needed. I thought I was finished with discerning this vocation. Silly girl.

I have long believed that it was God's will that I suffer. After all, it was great suffering that brought me to Him, and my best learning seems to come from persevering through difficulties. I always offer the suffering to Jesus for all the intentions of His Sacred Heart, knowing the great value of redemptive suffering, so I figured it made sense. I know all the great saints suffered, so I guessed the turmoil in my heart was normal as I have waited and wondered and tried to make my way to the convent, to no avail, as my obstacles remain for more than a year now since I was accepted into the order. Since I now believe He may be calling me elsewhere, I am surprised to find the turmoil dissipating and the flow of graces flooding my soul like a long awaited summer rain after a hot, dusty drought. He refreshes my soul. ~ Psalm 23

I am not ready to make any decisions yet, and I am (surprisingly) not worried about the outcome. Maybe for the first time in my journey, I feel myself being led by God in a way that is not based on human feelings, emotions, signs or opinions. I feel like every day is like writing and reading love letters between me and the Lover of Our Souls. I am no longer anxiously trying to finish a dreaded exam. Instead, there is deeper and deeper love, internal and external peace and joy in the freedom that comes from permitting our Beloved to show me the way. It is yet another level of surrender, but unlike many of the other painful layers of surrender I had to learn, this one is pure grace, pure love. It is a gift to trust like this, and I am grateful. There is much to look forward to.

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Lively Virtues

As you may know, I like to review books for the The Catholic Company as part of their reviewer program. This time, however, I have been blessed and privileged to review Father Robert Barron’s DVD and Study Guide/Workbook, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Lively Virtues.

Father Barron’s DVD and the accompanying workbook have been wonderful gifts for me. I would recommend them highly to anyone who seeks more than simple facts and general knowledge, but who also yearns for deeper understanding and introspection.

The DVD is exactly what you would expect of Father Barron --- insightful, interesting and powerful in its ability to give me pause to know more about my faith, my God, my Church and myself. He brings clarity and humor to the virtues and sins, relating all to Dante’s Inferno. I am a regular participant in the graces and healing that come from sacramental confession, and with this DVD, I found a new understanding of my own frailties and sin that I need to work on, a real blessing for my soul, and a blessing for anyone who would listen with a heart open to God and continuing conversion.

The Study Guide/Workbook is the best I have seen of this genre. Unlike other workbooks that accompany DVDs I have owned, this book does not simply get you to regurgitate facts from the DVD, to ensure rote memory. Father Barron, in his great wisdom, inspires you to think beyond what he has taught, and to help you to go deeper into your understanding with assignments to read scripture and relevant passages from the catechism --- LOVE IT!

This set would be great for personal study or as a group. There are so many paths your discussion could take you, I dare say you could do this workbook over and over again, and still find new things to delve into…..A DVD and workbook that would continue to provide new insights as you grow in faith and love with the Lord and His Church. Thank you, Fr. Barron!

***This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. You can visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Lively Virtues CD Bundle . They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.